Our canvas to paint

To death do us apart

Tiger,

You've never caused me pain, u know? It was the people around us.

There's nothing to put up with you. I think you're an easy person to be around with. Seriously. You make me smile and laugh. If there was anybody being difficult in this relationship it would be me. You have to stand my silence, spacing out moments, depressed times and loads of other crap. You are always there for me and I'm never going to take that for granted. What would I do without you. The simple answer is death.

I'm leaving tomorrow and I want to come back already. I want you by my side. You are always in my heart. But I want you here physically. So bad. But everything can't go our way, can it. One day, it will. I will continue praying for that day.

I'm seriously gonna miss you. Your imitation of people and things. Your smiles. Smirk. Your crooked nose. The way you look at me. Your teasing. Your manja ways.

At times, I swore the world stopped. I sometimes wanted to severe all ties so that it's just us. Actually at all times. It would be so ideal. Why can't everything be realistic? We must get through this. No matter what.

The more I write, the sadder I get.

I just talked to you. Man, how depressing can we get. Nevermind, we shall be strong or try to. I love you, babes..

No wonder they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. But they totally forgot the part about it breaking apart.

I will miss your gorilla pose. Your purring noises. Our gajar kasut times. How ben? How ben? How my sweet tiger ben?? I love you and I will always repeat it until my mouth is extremely dry.

I wish I didn't lose my phone. I should have known the absence of one would add so much more pain to not talking to you. I wanted to sms you for the past few days. Keep those sweet smses. Miss call you. Bother you with my calls. Hear your voice. Make you use up your credit incredibly fast. Hehe.

And no, you're not gonna die. I'm gonna die. I am already. Nevertheless, you were right about the 5 minute rule. It is better than nothing. It was more than 10 minutes anyway. Hehehehe..

I can't get enough of you, tiger. I never will.

With you, I'm more patient, polite and grateful. Tak tipu! That's why I'm dependent on you, my source of strength. (Wah, such a burden on you). I shall be your source of strength too! (Now not so bad, right? Hehehehehe).

I'm sorry for the times I wasn't there for you to talk to. I'm sorry that I wasted our last time together. I'm sorry that I didn't get to talk to you for long enough before I leave. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't cheer you up when you were a little down (don't deny it). I want to be everything that you need. I want to be there to hug you. Kiss you. Smother you with my love. I want to be the one to trigger a smile on your face when you feel low. I want to be there for you. Period.

And I will be there for you spiritually and emotionally. Physically is a bit hard but I shall be back in late june to mid july. We shall wait in anticipation for the reunion of aching hearts and lips.

I sayang you the most. As I've said, I wanna stay with you and I will keep by that.

I love you all seasons, tiger/lion/monkey/gorilla/gajar kasut/babes/love/dear.

Forever your silly monkey

P.S. And I love you. MUAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It is 12.55am when I finished writing this post. So much delays. I can't wait to hear from you. Love you.

posted by Ben Samin @ 6:22 PM